Mistress of the nocturnal,
Come ye unto me,
Dance with me those familiar steps,
Enchant me with thy beauty.
Bring ye along thy chambermaids,
Let them ring thou round,
They shall bequeath thee orchids,
Joy and laughter shall resound.
Lead me then my dear maiden,
Lead me unto blissful sleep,
Let me lie in thy full bosom,
Let me fall in thy embrace deep.
Grant me beloved thy gift of dreams,
That we may sail the calm night sky,
Together we shall chase the stars,
Chase wonders that escape the eye.
May I ask that this never end?
This union of heart and soul,
Gently thou whispereth unto me,
Words that doeth make me whole....
"Go now dear beloved,
Go now as thou must,
Another night I'll come again,
In that thou must trust."
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Thursday, September 15, 2005
I Hate SPAM
Not the meat though. I am personally a huge lover of canned meat mashed from them pork parts. There is no better staple meat to gorge in with such delight.
That aside, I hate spam. Spam as in unsolicited messages generally of dubious and shady nature. Yes, I am sure we have all heard about how spam is hurting the productivity around the globe where business of the modern day is integrated tightly with that little box we'd like to call our 'Personal Computer'. (Hmm.. Personal Computer, what an oxymoron)
Regardless, I can't help but grudgingly admire those spammers. We can only imagine the amount of effort put in by various parties to attempt to eradicate spam via aritificial intelligence (hmmm...yet another oxymoron?) and still to no avail. I don't foresee that things will really get better in the near future for two simple reasons:
1) No computer is intelligent enough to discern what human beings are able to
AND
2) Sadly, one man's spam is another man's meat. What is spam to me may not be to you.
I can also foresee that the incereased 'connectivity' between people on the globe via technology will simply open up more doors for these 'spammers'.
Look at the evolution!
Back in the days where the simple telephone ruled the roost, we had 'tele-marketing' (no offence to any tele-marketeers out there).
Then came email and the Internet, spawning mass emailing campaigns, hawking Viagra and Christian Personal Credit Schemes. (I am so not amused)
Now with further connectivity, spam comes fast and furious in all directions! Instant Messaging, Short Message Services (SMS) and for crying out loud, even f***in BLOG COMMENTS!
This is causing me a lot of emotional distress. Just when I thought this lil blog of mine is sitting staring out into the vasts of cyberspace all alone and I see this 'comment' posted, my lil heart skipped a beat. Finally! Someone noticed me!
Imagine my disgust when I pop open the comment section just to see this picture of this old balding bloke and his campaign for 'colon cancer' asking for my attention. A pox on you whoever you are! If colon cancer don't take you, I am gonna take a zucchini and stuff it up that colon of yours if I ever find you!
Anyways, my ramblings are totally self-serving. I reckon, the only way for spam to be effectively controlled should be like how you control the transmittance of some sexual disease.
The answer is with education. Only when people stop being gullible and realize that the 'Million Dollar A Week Scheme' is about as authentic as WWE Wrestling will this epidemic be effectively put to a stop.
Having said that, such utopia will never exist. Simply because, in the increasingly connected world, there is always a chance, that a gullible, ignorant and stupid fool is just over the other line.
That aside, I hate spam. Spam as in unsolicited messages generally of dubious and shady nature. Yes, I am sure we have all heard about how spam is hurting the productivity around the globe where business of the modern day is integrated tightly with that little box we'd like to call our 'Personal Computer'. (Hmm.. Personal Computer, what an oxymoron)
Regardless, I can't help but grudgingly admire those spammers. We can only imagine the amount of effort put in by various parties to attempt to eradicate spam via aritificial intelligence (hmmm...yet another oxymoron?) and still to no avail. I don't foresee that things will really get better in the near future for two simple reasons:
1) No computer is intelligent enough to discern what human beings are able to
AND
2) Sadly, one man's spam is another man's meat. What is spam to me may not be to you.
I can also foresee that the incereased 'connectivity' between people on the globe via technology will simply open up more doors for these 'spammers'.
Look at the evolution!
Back in the days where the simple telephone ruled the roost, we had 'tele-marketing' (no offence to any tele-marketeers out there).
Then came email and the Internet, spawning mass emailing campaigns, hawking Viagra and Christian Personal Credit Schemes. (I am so not amused)
Now with further connectivity, spam comes fast and furious in all directions! Instant Messaging, Short Message Services (SMS) and for crying out loud, even f***in BLOG COMMENTS!
This is causing me a lot of emotional distress. Just when I thought this lil blog of mine is sitting staring out into the vasts of cyberspace all alone and I see this 'comment' posted, my lil heart skipped a beat. Finally! Someone noticed me!
Imagine my disgust when I pop open the comment section just to see this picture of this old balding bloke and his campaign for 'colon cancer' asking for my attention. A pox on you whoever you are! If colon cancer don't take you, I am gonna take a zucchini and stuff it up that colon of yours if I ever find you!
Anyways, my ramblings are totally self-serving. I reckon, the only way for spam to be effectively controlled should be like how you control the transmittance of some sexual disease.
The answer is with education. Only when people stop being gullible and realize that the 'Million Dollar A Week Scheme' is about as authentic as WWE Wrestling will this epidemic be effectively put to a stop.
Having said that, such utopia will never exist. Simply because, in the increasingly connected world, there is always a chance, that a gullible, ignorant and stupid fool is just over the other line.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
A Lovely Little Paradox
It has been said, that in order for myself to be happy, I would want you to be happy.
For you to be happy, I would hope to give you a full life.
Holding on to you so sefishly is something I yearn but dare not want.
No one would want to live life and look back with regret at that moment unfulfilled.
I would have to let you explore that big big world of yours filled with your own beauty and fantasy.
That world that would only belong to you and no one else.
Nothing I can possibly offer to you to fill that void. Nothing except freedom and my blessings for you to pursue that moment and time in your life.
I know that time will pass and probably we would've lost something so precious in my bid to help you be truly happy.
It has been said, if it was meant to be, it will come a full circle. But, we will always gain some, and we will lose some. Who is to question what was worth it?
If we never find the fire again, for this one moment in time though, I would want you to know, that I did love you more than myself.
Proseac
In remembrance of something I felt a long long long time ago.
For you to be happy, I would hope to give you a full life.
Holding on to you so sefishly is something I yearn but dare not want.
No one would want to live life and look back with regret at that moment unfulfilled.
I would have to let you explore that big big world of yours filled with your own beauty and fantasy.
That world that would only belong to you and no one else.
Nothing I can possibly offer to you to fill that void. Nothing except freedom and my blessings for you to pursue that moment and time in your life.
I know that time will pass and probably we would've lost something so precious in my bid to help you be truly happy.
It has been said, if it was meant to be, it will come a full circle. But, we will always gain some, and we will lose some. Who is to question what was worth it?
If we never find the fire again, for this one moment in time though, I would want you to know, that I did love you more than myself.
Proseac
In remembrance of something I felt a long long long time ago.
Monday, September 12, 2005
Geeky Me
Oh yeah. I am such a geek. Just to prove it, here are sample screenshots from my desktop.
Just simply gotta love Linux.
Notice the Mac style menu?
Showcased are the transparent effects from the non-focused windows as compared to the focused solid window.
Just simply gotta love Linux.
Notice the Mac style menu?
Showcased are the transparent effects from the non-focused windows as compared to the focused solid window.Sunday, September 11, 2005
Which Un-?
Adulterated?
Break?
Disclosed?
Bind?
Shackled?
Chained?
Disturbed?
Restricted?
Restrained?
Done?
Known?
Holy?
Requited?
Loved?
Kept?
Just which Un- do I feel?
Break?
Disclosed?
Bind?
Shackled?
Chained?
Disturbed?
Restricted?
Restrained?
Done?
Known?
Holy?
Requited?
Loved?
Kept?
Just which Un- do I feel?
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
'Neath That Tree
On the earth somewhere stood a lone hill.
On the lone hill, stood a lone tree.
The tree was ancient and it was old. Ages passed the tree by. Children came, lovers went. Peace came, war went. Winds licked its bark, the roots drank the rain. Rain that fell and seeped deep into the earth, the tree drank. The sun scorched as the moonlight bathed, things came, things went.
The tree was grand once, now just a forlorn figure of better days. It looked like it mourns for the earth. Mighty branches no longer sturdy, it now looks droop, as if in mourning. It mourns for it stood. Death would not claim it. It just stood forgotten, consumed by time. Still it stood, wretched. Leaves fall from him one by one. Each falling leaf, a measure of splendour lost.
Sometimes, the wind will blow, its mocking whisper. The wind cuts through, leaving behind the sound of ruffling leaves. Sometimes, the tree moans as the wind cuts through its hollowed parts.
Sometimes the moon casts its glow. The tree in turn casts it shadows. Once upon a time, the tree cast a comforting shade with its proud bloom. Today it casts a shadow like a wight. Like a creature of the night, thin and frail, the shadow stretches longer. Like craving fingers the shadow stretches, wanting to wrap around what it could hold on to. It could hold on to nothing.
Looking at the shadow is like looking into a mirror. As much as the mirror is like an object of vanity, it also reminds of ones passing beauty. So it was with the tree as it looks upon its shadow.
All of this I considered as I looked upon the lonely tree. It had no company nor reason to live except for existence. Nothing but empty existence. I could feel its tears that it could not cry. I could hear its sob that it could sound.
I smile. We have a strange understanding. I took my seat beneath the tree. I looked at the tree once and I looked no more.
On the lone hill, stood a lone tree.
The tree was ancient and it was old. Ages passed the tree by. Children came, lovers went. Peace came, war went. Winds licked its bark, the roots drank the rain. Rain that fell and seeped deep into the earth, the tree drank. The sun scorched as the moonlight bathed, things came, things went.
The tree was grand once, now just a forlorn figure of better days. It looked like it mourns for the earth. Mighty branches no longer sturdy, it now looks droop, as if in mourning. It mourns for it stood. Death would not claim it. It just stood forgotten, consumed by time. Still it stood, wretched. Leaves fall from him one by one. Each falling leaf, a measure of splendour lost.
Sometimes, the wind will blow, its mocking whisper. The wind cuts through, leaving behind the sound of ruffling leaves. Sometimes, the tree moans as the wind cuts through its hollowed parts.
Sometimes the moon casts its glow. The tree in turn casts it shadows. Once upon a time, the tree cast a comforting shade with its proud bloom. Today it casts a shadow like a wight. Like a creature of the night, thin and frail, the shadow stretches longer. Like craving fingers the shadow stretches, wanting to wrap around what it could hold on to. It could hold on to nothing.
Looking at the shadow is like looking into a mirror. As much as the mirror is like an object of vanity, it also reminds of ones passing beauty. So it was with the tree as it looks upon its shadow.
All of this I considered as I looked upon the lonely tree. It had no company nor reason to live except for existence. Nothing but empty existence. I could feel its tears that it could not cry. I could hear its sob that it could sound.
I smile. We have a strange understanding. I took my seat beneath the tree. I looked at the tree once and I looked no more.
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Candy Mandy
Candy Mandy
Sweet are you,
Sugar coated
Yummy too!
Myriad colors
Swirls the eye,
Mushy centre
Taste buds fly!
Watch how I nibble,
Watch how I suck
Licking every layer,
I'm a gleeful scmuck!
Candy Mandy
Sweet and sour,
Candy Mandy
I munch and devour!
At 615am I am hardly coherent.
Still, I reserve the right to be silly sometimes, so sue me!
Sweet are you,
Sugar coated
Yummy too!
Myriad colors
Swirls the eye,
Mushy centre
Taste buds fly!
Watch how I nibble,
Watch how I suck
Licking every layer,
I'm a gleeful scmuck!
Candy Mandy
Sweet and sour,
Candy Mandy
I munch and devour!
At 615am I am hardly coherent.
Still, I reserve the right to be silly sometimes, so sue me!
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
A Short Narrative In My Mind
I see you playing in my minds eye
Always fleeting there somewhere,
Smiling
Laughing
Like a cloud, traverse the skies.
Always in there, in my mind somewhere,
There your playground be,
Dancing
Floating
Like a wind blowing without care.
In there you linger, there you stay
You gently raise your hands,
Beckoning,
Whispering
Enchanting me to join your play.
Your face radiates such joy and peace,
With gentle eyes you pierce me,
Watching
Waiting
Tears stream my eyes in sorrows release
Nothing I want but to lay in your fold,
Close my eyes and dream,
Drifting
Flowing
Lost in your sweet scent and hold.
Like a miser I covet your touch,
Time I loathe to lose,
Firmly
Surely
I have never loved so much.
My mind starts to waken with knowing,
Like mist you dissipate
Melting
Fleeting
You left me an empty shell wanting.
I awake though my thoughts in disarray
You left me with a smile
Bliss
Complete
Will you play in my mind today?
Always fleeting there somewhere,
Smiling
Laughing
Like a cloud, traverse the skies.
Always in there, in my mind somewhere,
There your playground be,
Dancing
Floating
Like a wind blowing without care.
In there you linger, there you stay
You gently raise your hands,
Beckoning,
Whispering
Enchanting me to join your play.
Your face radiates such joy and peace,
With gentle eyes you pierce me,
Watching
Waiting
Tears stream my eyes in sorrows release
Nothing I want but to lay in your fold,
Close my eyes and dream,
Drifting
Flowing
Lost in your sweet scent and hold.
Like a miser I covet your touch,
Time I loathe to lose,
Firmly
Surely
I have never loved so much.
My mind starts to waken with knowing,
Like mist you dissipate
Melting
Fleeting
You left me an empty shell wanting.
I awake though my thoughts in disarray
You left me with a smile
Bliss
Complete
Will you play in my mind today?
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Saturday, July 30, 2005
In My Deepest and Darkest Hour...
I miss you.
I miss what it's like to love you.
Dearly,
I miss you, but I guess, you will never know.
From,
Proseac
"Written for that someone buried deep in my heart
in a place that sometimes even I didn't knew it existed"
I miss what it's like to love you.
Dearly,
I miss you, but I guess, you will never know.
From,
Proseac
"Written for that someone buried deep in my heart
in a place that sometimes even I didn't knew it existed"
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
I Still Wanna Dance
My world turns
Everything neon
Wind lash
Still on the prairie
Wind scar
Slowly takes shape
My beautiful partner
She prances in mischief
Embodiment of grace
She beckons
Into the chaos
She calls
Into my arms
She dances
Eye of the tornado
My world turns again
We dance
On my grave
We dance
I may be dead
But I still wanna dance
Everything neon
Wind lash
Still on the prairie
Wind scar
Slowly takes shape
My beautiful partner
She prances in mischief
Embodiment of grace
She beckons
Into the chaos
She calls
Into my arms
She dances
Eye of the tornado
My world turns again
We dance
On my grave
We dance
I may be dead
But I still wanna dance
Monday, July 25, 2005
Twist of Fate (Part 5)
So ended the episode of Herman visiting Christine in an effort to kindle the flames of a perpetually frozen relationship. They hugged, kissed and said their goodbyes as Herman boarded the bus home.
Christine was in a state of confusion. She could feel an empty feeling inside her. The empty void she felt was unexplainable. It is as if there is some sort of emotional distance between them. She could still always feel the shadow of the past relationship hanging in Herman's mind. The way and the time the relationship started, she simply had to have a reason to be convinced. A reason that was more than what a 'normal' relationship would've demanded. She needed that extra bit that could make her feel secure. At least that is what she told herself.
Herman was on his way home from the trip. He felt strangely unfulfilled. It was probably the incident that happened during his visit. "She would be back this weekend" he told himself. "I'll try to make it up to her then." In his resolve, he drifted off to sleep.
The week passed and Christine was back home. Just while she was unpacking her belongings, her phone rang.
"Hey baby..." said Herman, "How was your trip?"
Tucking the phone between her head and shoulders, Christine replied, "It was smooth. Nothing much happened. Just slept all the way back home"
"That is good to hear" said Herman smiling. "I'll leave you to unpack and settle down. We'll catch for dinner okay?"
"Sure. See you then.." replied Christine.
Christine had a resolve that she didn't tell Herman. She was going to hurt him. Hurt him to find an answer to her doubts. It pained her, but it was something she had to do. She had to know what to do next. It is better for the pain now than to have it stretch on.
The couple met later that evening for dinner. They ended with a walk in the park. Herman was not talking much. He just wanted to enjoy the presence of her in his arms. Silently they strolled.
Christine decided to break the silence."Hey... do you think I am a good girlfriend?"
"Silly girl. Of course you are. Just that if I could see you more often, it would've been perfect" Herman replied, smiling and trying to sound casual.
"I don't think I make a good girlfriend..." she said.
Taken aback, Herman thought that she had misunderstood.
"Don't say that. I could cope with this distance thing. It takes commitment and faith. It.."
"I didn't mean that. I think I am placing you pretty low on my list of priorities, and it's my fault.." she said, breaking Herman in mid-sentence. "My priority will be to my family, then my career after my studies and things with my life in general. Honestly, I think I am pretty selfish and sometimes uncaring.."
Herman just listened as she spoke.
"I don't even know if I love you enough." she said.
"Don't say that baby. It has been rough on both of us. Mostly it is my fault but.." Herman said.
"You know, I thought to myself, if I were to lose you one day, what would I feel," she again broke him in mid-sentence. "I thought hard, but found nothing. I would feel nothing. Even if you were to drop dead in-front of me now, I don't think I would feel any more for you than I would for a friend who passed on."
Herman just stared dumbfounded.
"I don't know why I feel this way, but it is just me.." she said without faltering.
At that moment, Herman decided that she was just confused. Afterall, with so much time apart, they just couldn't grow close. It only gets colder and colder each passing day. Those words coming from her was a lot of sting and pain. He just didn't want to aggrevate her situation. Amidst all the tempest, he just decided to keep quiet and calm.
She looked at him. She was waiting for him to react. He didn't. He just kept quiet.
"Don't think so much baby. I really don't mind what kind of person you are and how you think. I chose to love you, and will accept you as you are now and be with you till you grow out of this," he said trying to sound casual.
She was deeply hurt. She hurt because she had to be this cruel. She hurt even more because he didn't seem affected. She knew where this relationship was headed. It was towards a dead end. She kept what she thought to herself that night.
As they parted ways that night, both were somber.
Later that night, she would cry as she prepared herself to end this all.
For the rest of his life, he would forever remember this piece of conversation, as it festers like a wound in his mind.
Fate as it would have it, would twist again.
Christine was in a state of confusion. She could feel an empty feeling inside her. The empty void she felt was unexplainable. It is as if there is some sort of emotional distance between them. She could still always feel the shadow of the past relationship hanging in Herman's mind. The way and the time the relationship started, she simply had to have a reason to be convinced. A reason that was more than what a 'normal' relationship would've demanded. She needed that extra bit that could make her feel secure. At least that is what she told herself.
Herman was on his way home from the trip. He felt strangely unfulfilled. It was probably the incident that happened during his visit. "She would be back this weekend" he told himself. "I'll try to make it up to her then." In his resolve, he drifted off to sleep.
The week passed and Christine was back home. Just while she was unpacking her belongings, her phone rang.
"Hey baby..." said Herman, "How was your trip?"
Tucking the phone between her head and shoulders, Christine replied, "It was smooth. Nothing much happened. Just slept all the way back home"
"That is good to hear" said Herman smiling. "I'll leave you to unpack and settle down. We'll catch for dinner okay?"
"Sure. See you then.." replied Christine.
Christine had a resolve that she didn't tell Herman. She was going to hurt him. Hurt him to find an answer to her doubts. It pained her, but it was something she had to do. She had to know what to do next. It is better for the pain now than to have it stretch on.
The couple met later that evening for dinner. They ended with a walk in the park. Herman was not talking much. He just wanted to enjoy the presence of her in his arms. Silently they strolled.
Christine decided to break the silence."Hey... do you think I am a good girlfriend?"
"Silly girl. Of course you are. Just that if I could see you more often, it would've been perfect" Herman replied, smiling and trying to sound casual.
"I don't think I make a good girlfriend..." she said.
Taken aback, Herman thought that she had misunderstood.
"Don't say that. I could cope with this distance thing. It takes commitment and faith. It.."
"I didn't mean that. I think I am placing you pretty low on my list of priorities, and it's my fault.." she said, breaking Herman in mid-sentence. "My priority will be to my family, then my career after my studies and things with my life in general. Honestly, I think I am pretty selfish and sometimes uncaring.."
Herman just listened as she spoke.
"I don't even know if I love you enough." she said.
"Don't say that baby. It has been rough on both of us. Mostly it is my fault but.." Herman said.
"You know, I thought to myself, if I were to lose you one day, what would I feel," she again broke him in mid-sentence. "I thought hard, but found nothing. I would feel nothing. Even if you were to drop dead in-front of me now, I don't think I would feel any more for you than I would for a friend who passed on."
Herman just stared dumbfounded.
"I don't know why I feel this way, but it is just me.." she said without faltering.
At that moment, Herman decided that she was just confused. Afterall, with so much time apart, they just couldn't grow close. It only gets colder and colder each passing day. Those words coming from her was a lot of sting and pain. He just didn't want to aggrevate her situation. Amidst all the tempest, he just decided to keep quiet and calm.
She looked at him. She was waiting for him to react. He didn't. He just kept quiet.
"Don't think so much baby. I really don't mind what kind of person you are and how you think. I chose to love you, and will accept you as you are now and be with you till you grow out of this," he said trying to sound casual.
She was deeply hurt. She hurt because she had to be this cruel. She hurt even more because he didn't seem affected. She knew where this relationship was headed. It was towards a dead end. She kept what she thought to herself that night.
As they parted ways that night, both were somber.
Later that night, she would cry as she prepared herself to end this all.
For the rest of his life, he would forever remember this piece of conversation, as it festers like a wound in his mind.
Fate as it would have it, would twist again.
My (Bloody) Valentine
Under the Rule of Roman Emporer Claudius II, it was illegal for young men to marry because it was thought they might not enlist in the army. Saint Valentine continued to perform marriages despite this law. When he was caught, he was sentenced to be beaten and beheaded. This was carried out on February 14, 269 AD. In 469 AD, Pope Galesius set aside February 14 as a day to honor Saint Valentine. - Skot Olsen
Valentine's Day.
In memory of love and death.
Valentine's Day.
In memory of love and death.
A Wake
"This piece is based on my own personal experience with insomnia. I went through a period in which I lay awake, night after night, thinking about death and the unavoidable mortality of all things. In this painting, the insomniac is trying to count sheep, which are coming into the room through a spade-shaped hole in space. As they leap into the man’s view to be counted, they pass through another portal, which represents the man’s morbid thoughts. As the sheep pass through this second portal, they die and their remains pile up around the man’s bed. The very act which was supposed to help him rest has become another reminder of how all things die. The spade was selected to represent death, because of its historical connection with that theme." - Skot Olsen
Not so much that I think of mortality and death, my bout of insomnia is somewhat similar. The more that I try to do things to put me to sleep, the more awake I seem to get.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Stray Bullets
Youth
Recklessness
Aimless
Angst
Blindness
Retaliation
Innocent
Passerby
Caught
Hurt
Bled
Remorse
Regret
Didn't mean to, but too late
Much too late
Stray bullet.......................Kills
Recklessness
Aimless
Angst
Blindness
Retaliation
Innocent
Passerby
Caught
Hurt
Bled
Remorse
Regret
Didn't mean to, but too late
Much too late
Stray bullet.......................Kills
Sunday, July 03, 2005
Crescent Moon
In the air I hang
Tied upon an invisible noose
Watching, waiting
Silently
Moving, following
I am the nocturnal
Lost souls I guide
Beautiful am I
Sinister am I
In the air I hang
Alone in the lonely skies
Surrounded by oblivion
In loneliness divide
In the horizon day approaches
The dawn will consume me
The fear and pain will pass
For in dusk I'll be born again
Tied upon an invisible noose
Watching, waiting
Silently
Moving, following
I am the nocturnal
Lost souls I guide
Beautiful am I
Sinister am I
In the air I hang
Alone in the lonely skies
Surrounded by oblivion
In loneliness divide
In the horizon day approaches
The dawn will consume me
The fear and pain will pass
For in dusk I'll be born again
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Twist of Fate (Part 4)
It has been weeks since Christine left.
Herman caught himself in bed lying wide awake at night. He was feeling conscious. He could feel the heat of his heart slowly ebbing away. This time, he was determined not to let it go away.
It has been a while since he last called. He decided to pick up the phone. The ring tone finally gave way and her voice came through.
"Hello baby..." he said.
"Hey..." she replied.
"It's so nice to hear your voice again. How have things been going?" he asked.
"It's alright. Kinda just the same really.." she answered.
"That's good... You know, I have been thinking of what I last said to you...just before you left that day.." he continued, " I am really sorry. Shouldn't of have heaped that on you..."
"No, no, it's really okay..." she sighed.
"I have decided to do something about it. I have been thinking... Can I make the trip up to see you?"
he asked, sounding really hopeful.
"There is really no need..." she said.
"Why? Are you busy?" he asked again.
"Not really, but its really troublesome...and..." she tried to argue.
"I really want to do this. It is no trouble at all. Could I?" he sounded in earnest.
"Well...ok..." she said.
He could sense her smiling through the phone. They made the date that he would go. As far as he remembered, this was one decision that he was glad that he made.
The day arrived, where he would pack his bags and be on his way. From the minute that he boarded the bus, his heart was pounding in expectation. He wanted very much to see her. He felt alive.
Christine was caught up with her things to do that day. One thing led to another and she ended up with a trip entertaining her friends. She wanted to see Herman but was caught up between him and her friends. Time would probably iron itself out by the time Herman came, she thought.
Herman arrived at the destination. His plan was to get the luggage out of the way at his friend's place before spending the rest of the day with Christine.
After settling down at his friend's place, Herman was invited to go along to a party. Herman entertained the idea for a little while before saying no. He only wanted to spend time with Christine. Quality time that was long overdue.
With some gruntles, his friends left him alone. Herman finally took up the phone to call Christine.
"Hey baby..." he said
"Hey..." she replied
"I am here. Where are you now?" he asked.
"I am still stuck here with some friends... Can I get back to you later?" she said.
At that moment, Herman was really disappointed. He wanted to kick up a fuss. He wanted to tell her how disappointed and pained he was because she just didn't seem to put him on her priority. He wanted to tell her, that he didn't go out with his friends because she was more important. He wanted to tell her that he wanted to see her so bad. He ended up saying nothing at all.
Love is about respecting each others personal space isn't it? He tried to be understanding.
"Oh..in that case, just call me later when you are done" he said.
"Ok..bye" she replied.
He just lied on the bed after that. He told himself, that if he just slept, time would pass by faster. When he woke up, she will be ready to see him. He dozed off to an uneasy nap, always half-awake because he didn't want to accidentally miss her call.
She was upset with Herman. She wanted him to react. She wanted deep inside for him to kick up a fuss. At least, fight over it. Fight to show that he cares. Her doubt in him and the relationship came creeping back again. Wilfully she carried on her party. She just wanted to forget this.
When they finally resumed tele-conversation again, both were in foul mood.
"What kind of boyfriend are you?!" she exclaimed.
"What do you mean?" he replied, trying to remain calm.
"You don't care for me. I told you I was with friends and you didn't even bother to ask who I am with!" she said.
"Thats not true. I care baby. I just wanted to give you your space. I have faith in you. I just want to be an understanding boyfriend.." he explained.
There was silence. Both decided that extended argument would further no ends. They decided to meet up and put this behind them.
What both didn't know, was that a scar was left in their minds. A scar caused by a silent cut and painless wound.
Herman caught himself in bed lying wide awake at night. He was feeling conscious. He could feel the heat of his heart slowly ebbing away. This time, he was determined not to let it go away.
It has been a while since he last called. He decided to pick up the phone. The ring tone finally gave way and her voice came through.
"Hello baby..." he said.
"Hey..." she replied.
"It's so nice to hear your voice again. How have things been going?" he asked.
"It's alright. Kinda just the same really.." she answered.
"That's good... You know, I have been thinking of what I last said to you...just before you left that day.." he continued, " I am really sorry. Shouldn't of have heaped that on you..."
"No, no, it's really okay..." she sighed.
"I have decided to do something about it. I have been thinking... Can I make the trip up to see you?"
he asked, sounding really hopeful.
"There is really no need..." she said.
"Why? Are you busy?" he asked again.
"Not really, but its really troublesome...and..." she tried to argue.
"I really want to do this. It is no trouble at all. Could I?" he sounded in earnest.
"Well...ok..." she said.
He could sense her smiling through the phone. They made the date that he would go. As far as he remembered, this was one decision that he was glad that he made.
The day arrived, where he would pack his bags and be on his way. From the minute that he boarded the bus, his heart was pounding in expectation. He wanted very much to see her. He felt alive.
Christine was caught up with her things to do that day. One thing led to another and she ended up with a trip entertaining her friends. She wanted to see Herman but was caught up between him and her friends. Time would probably iron itself out by the time Herman came, she thought.
Herman arrived at the destination. His plan was to get the luggage out of the way at his friend's place before spending the rest of the day with Christine.
After settling down at his friend's place, Herman was invited to go along to a party. Herman entertained the idea for a little while before saying no. He only wanted to spend time with Christine. Quality time that was long overdue.
With some gruntles, his friends left him alone. Herman finally took up the phone to call Christine.
"Hey baby..." he said
"Hey..." she replied
"I am here. Where are you now?" he asked.
"I am still stuck here with some friends... Can I get back to you later?" she said.
At that moment, Herman was really disappointed. He wanted to kick up a fuss. He wanted to tell her how disappointed and pained he was because she just didn't seem to put him on her priority. He wanted to tell her, that he didn't go out with his friends because she was more important. He wanted to tell her that he wanted to see her so bad. He ended up saying nothing at all.
Love is about respecting each others personal space isn't it? He tried to be understanding.
"Oh..in that case, just call me later when you are done" he said.
"Ok..bye" she replied.
He just lied on the bed after that. He told himself, that if he just slept, time would pass by faster. When he woke up, she will be ready to see him. He dozed off to an uneasy nap, always half-awake because he didn't want to accidentally miss her call.
She was upset with Herman. She wanted him to react. She wanted deep inside for him to kick up a fuss. At least, fight over it. Fight to show that he cares. Her doubt in him and the relationship came creeping back again. Wilfully she carried on her party. She just wanted to forget this.
When they finally resumed tele-conversation again, both were in foul mood.
"What kind of boyfriend are you?!" she exclaimed.
"What do you mean?" he replied, trying to remain calm.
"You don't care for me. I told you I was with friends and you didn't even bother to ask who I am with!" she said.
"Thats not true. I care baby. I just wanted to give you your space. I have faith in you. I just want to be an understanding boyfriend.." he explained.
There was silence. Both decided that extended argument would further no ends. They decided to meet up and put this behind them.
What both didn't know, was that a scar was left in their minds. A scar caused by a silent cut and painless wound.
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