A long long time ago, when I am with someone who is crying I, can't help myself but cry along with them. I try to emphatize and the sadness just seems to amplify. I'll try to help others stop crying.
Not so long ago, I've learnt how to offer comfort to those who cry. I try to tell them everything is alright. I am there by their side. I am the shoulder they cry on. I'll tell them to hush and stop their tears.
Recently, I've finally realized, everyone needs to cry once in while. It always feels better after you've cried, and only when you carry on crying till your heart tells you to stop. So I've stopped telling people to stop crying henceforth.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
No Exit
Forced to look at my reflection
A perfect mirror with a cracked smile
Bona fide contradiction
My only hope is for a life worthwhile
Living with or without
What else does it matter?
I am looking for a way out
Of this misery growing deeper
I'd just want to shut the door
And wallow in the darkness
Scream out till I hit the floor
And go down with my madness
Proseac: For the times I choose to shut everyone and everything out.
A perfect mirror with a cracked smile
Bona fide contradiction
My only hope is for a life worthwhile
Living with or without
What else does it matter?
I am looking for a way out
Of this misery growing deeper
I'd just want to shut the door
And wallow in the darkness
Scream out till I hit the floor
And go down with my madness
Proseac: For the times I choose to shut everyone and everything out.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
The Music and The Song
When did this piece started playing, I probably would never know.
I can hear my life as it echoes out in song.
The melody is faint and it is hard to sing to, but it plays on nonetheless.
Sometimes it is a bare and lonely melody that plays eerily in the still of the night.
Sometimes my song intertwines with someone elses song.
The union forms a beautiful harmony and the song goes on.
We try to to fill in the lyrics and we try to sing to the tunes.
Eventually our songs split apart, but the music goes on.
My song is of highs and lows, never in monotone.
Sometimes I crack singing in a falsetto pitch I can never hit
Sometimes the deep bass resonates, barely audible.
My song is a magnum opus built upon a skeletal tune
Events in my life strike certain strings that forms chords to my tune.
The chords ring out as the echoes meld into my melody.
There is no constant beat or rhythm to my song
The tempo speeds up and slows down without notice
It is a song of drunken stupor, of drug induced hallucination.
It is a song of infinite sadness, a song of pain.
It is a song of romantic love, of beauty and memories.
It is a song of infinite joy, a song of happiness.
The music fades into the background,
My song is sung in accapella.
Slowly my song fades out from the fore of day.
It is a tune for myself in the still of the night.
Watch me sway to my music and song.
It will never stop playing till the end of my time.
I can hear my life as it echoes out in song.
The melody is faint and it is hard to sing to, but it plays on nonetheless.
Sometimes it is a bare and lonely melody that plays eerily in the still of the night.
Sometimes my song intertwines with someone elses song.
The union forms a beautiful harmony and the song goes on.
We try to to fill in the lyrics and we try to sing to the tunes.
Eventually our songs split apart, but the music goes on.
My song is of highs and lows, never in monotone.
Sometimes I crack singing in a falsetto pitch I can never hit
Sometimes the deep bass resonates, barely audible.
My song is a magnum opus built upon a skeletal tune
Events in my life strike certain strings that forms chords to my tune.
The chords ring out as the echoes meld into my melody.
There is no constant beat or rhythm to my song
The tempo speeds up and slows down without notice
It is a song of drunken stupor, of drug induced hallucination.
It is a song of infinite sadness, a song of pain.
It is a song of romantic love, of beauty and memories.
It is a song of infinite joy, a song of happiness.
The music fades into the background,
My song is sung in accapella.
Slowly my song fades out from the fore of day.
It is a tune for myself in the still of the night.
Watch me sway to my music and song.
It will never stop playing till the end of my time.
Monday, March 13, 2006
About Giving and Taking Back
It may be a blessing or it may be a curse that we all will fall in love with someone else at some point of our lives.
Personally, I have fallen in love a couple of times (and have been involved in several relationships) in my life time thus far. It is very unfortunate, that nothing has worked out right up until now.
I've just been musing for the better part of today. When we are in love with someone else, we just can't seem to control ourselves but to give. Give and give even more. Give to the point where it hurts, and still we cannot help but give. A part of of us always goes out to that special person.
I wonder, after all the giving thru all those years, thru each and every person that was special to me, how much do I have left to give? So many parts of me have gone out and will always stay with them.
The tragic part is, all that has been given, can never and will never be taken back, no matter how hard I try.
Maybe I just really don't want anything back.
If giving hurts, taking back truly kills.
Them, whom I have truly fallen deeply in love with, will always have a special place in my heart from here on until the day my heart ceases to beat. Sure, the memories have faded from my head, but deep down inside my bleeding heart, I know that they are in there somewhere.
Introspectively, there isn't much anymore that I can give. It is all running dry. The essence used up. I can feel myself, just the cynical shell left with life sucked dry.
So yes, I am twisted. Yes I am aloof. Yes I am cold. Yes I am emotionless. Yes I am one selfish fuck.
Simply because, I have nothing more to give and I've died in my attempt to take something back.
Personally, I have fallen in love a couple of times (and have been involved in several relationships) in my life time thus far. It is very unfortunate, that nothing has worked out right up until now.
I've just been musing for the better part of today. When we are in love with someone else, we just can't seem to control ourselves but to give. Give and give even more. Give to the point where it hurts, and still we cannot help but give. A part of of us always goes out to that special person.
I wonder, after all the giving thru all those years, thru each and every person that was special to me, how much do I have left to give? So many parts of me have gone out and will always stay with them.
The tragic part is, all that has been given, can never and will never be taken back, no matter how hard I try.
Maybe I just really don't want anything back.
If giving hurts, taking back truly kills.
Them, whom I have truly fallen deeply in love with, will always have a special place in my heart from here on until the day my heart ceases to beat. Sure, the memories have faded from my head, but deep down inside my bleeding heart, I know that they are in there somewhere.
Introspectively, there isn't much anymore that I can give. It is all running dry. The essence used up. I can feel myself, just the cynical shell left with life sucked dry.
So yes, I am twisted. Yes I am aloof. Yes I am cold. Yes I am emotionless. Yes I am one selfish fuck.
Simply because, I have nothing more to give and I've died in my attempt to take something back.
Saturday, March 11, 2006
How I Deal with A Problem
It is inevitable that I have to deal with problems day in and out.
Numerous experience from dealing with problems have imparted me an important skill:
"If I can't solve a problem, the next best thing is to laugh it off"
Yeah, it may sound silly, but I suppose it is better than sulking, hiding and whining. Most of the time, if I do manage to keep my spirits high, I will eventually solve the problem.
It is either that or the problem seems to go away, at least for a while.
Numerous experience from dealing with problems have imparted me an important skill:
"If I can't solve a problem, the next best thing is to laugh it off"
Yeah, it may sound silly, but I suppose it is better than sulking, hiding and whining. Most of the time, if I do manage to keep my spirits high, I will eventually solve the problem.
It is either that or the problem seems to go away, at least for a while.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Ten Things About March
There are ten things I would like to highlight for the month in which:
1)The month is March, and the date currently is somewhere very near to the date of my birth quite some 20 odd years ago. (Its quite a big odd to add on to the 20 years if you must be precise)
2)Sometime during the period of this month, I will be aging yet another year, which possibly might be an excuse for me to get drunk.
3) March was originally the month where the Europeans had their 'New Year' because spring is just round the corner.
4) Astronomically speaking, this is the month of fishes and rams.
5) The month is supposed to be named after the Roman God o War - Mars (or Ares in Greek). Does that make me a Martian? (ok it's a bad joke, so sue me)
6) Everyone is paying way too much attention as to when the date I was born. The attention is causing me a little bit of discomfort.
7) Fact is, I don't enjoy being the centre of attention at a party. I prefer playing side-dish to the main-course, or so to speak.
8) This month always seems to cause me some heart-wrenching moments for one reason or another. EVERY YEAR without fail.
9) It is also a month that seems to just whip on by very very fast, in spite of it having 31 days in total. (The only other short month I ever remember is Febuary, but I suppose that would be normal?)
10) Finally, a dear dear friend of mine will be having his daughter coming round the corner real soon. She might just share the same birthday as I. My prayers for her that that will be the only thing she ever has in common with me. Nonetheless, I will still love her. This month is dedicated to Baby Gwinny, coming in from the stork and arriving really soon.
1)The month is March, and the date currently is somewhere very near to the date of my birth quite some 20 odd years ago. (Its quite a big odd to add on to the 20 years if you must be precise)
2)Sometime during the period of this month, I will be aging yet another year, which possibly might be an excuse for me to get drunk.
3) March was originally the month where the Europeans had their 'New Year' because spring is just round the corner.
4) Astronomically speaking, this is the month of fishes and rams.
5) The month is supposed to be named after the Roman God o War - Mars (or Ares in Greek). Does that make me a Martian? (ok it's a bad joke, so sue me)
6) Everyone is paying way too much attention as to when the date I was born. The attention is causing me a little bit of discomfort.
7) Fact is, I don't enjoy being the centre of attention at a party. I prefer playing side-dish to the main-course, or so to speak.
8) This month always seems to cause me some heart-wrenching moments for one reason or another. EVERY YEAR without fail.
9) It is also a month that seems to just whip on by very very fast, in spite of it having 31 days in total. (The only other short month I ever remember is Febuary, but I suppose that would be normal?)
10) Finally, a dear dear friend of mine will be having his daughter coming round the corner real soon. She might just share the same birthday as I. My prayers for her that that will be the only thing she ever has in common with me. Nonetheless, I will still love her. This month is dedicated to Baby Gwinny, coming in from the stork and arriving really soon.
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