Erotica (Almost)

Right, this is a story about sex.
It will unashamedly describe the erotic escapades of two people, a male and a female.
This story will contain explicit material not suitable for those under 18. (or 21, whatever your law says)
Yes, this story will describe in extremely vivid detail the activities of two people that's (probably) under the blanket and (including but not limited to) on the bed.
The aforementioned individuals in this story will eventually end up nude and naked. (notwithstanding lingerie thats possibly not fully discarded for added erotic effect)
This story will involve the two characters ending up physically entwined.
It is only right to state, that the story will narrate extensively on both the male and female anatomy.
The story will also be peppered with euphisms and sexual innuendos just to spice up the narrative of the bodily functions, description of anatomy, positions and activities.
The story should also be liberally scattered with cliches that are familiar with the erotica reading crowd.
This story might include a standard opening, narrating drunkedness whereby is the starting point of this entire story. (I will decide later when I actually start telling the story)
It is also fair warning, that this story may contain explicit and downright 'dirty' languages (that come across as more corny than actually offensive), just to add to the realism of the story in part.
Wrangling of hair, gnashing of teeth, battle of lips (with tongue) and raking of nails are totally optional.
There will be however be sweat, bodily fluids and arousing moans (with the occasional grunt)
As a responsible writer, condoms will be used in the story.
This story will end in a climax that is only achievable in fantasy and fiction. (and maybe porn)
Above all, this is a story about sex. This is an erotica that is attempted to be portrayed with as much taste and seduction possible. Rest assured, this story will be filled with raucous sex.

Here goes...

Damn, I think I just took all the fun out of writing this. I think I'll just leave it to your imagination for now.
Ah well. It was a good attempt anyway.

Proseac: Yeah, so bite me!