The relationship Herman and Christine shared can be described as one that is 'perpetually delayed'. The main difficulty was due to the fact that Christine had to be away most of the time in another city to pursue her education. Once a month worth of bliss is all this couple could hope for at best at any one time. Most of the relationship was about phonecalls and emails and sometimes Instant Messaging (thanks to the amazing technology called the Internet)
Herman was trying to get on with his life. He was trying very hard. Maybe he tried a bit too hard. It was tough when your best friend betrayed you that way. Everyday, he would try to drown the sorrows away by partying and hanging out with his friends. Ironically, the same friends reminds him of the ultimate betrayal by his ex-best friend.
Christine was a tough girl. She was blossoming into adulthood, looking forward to great adventures in the future ahead of her. A wonderful career and a life filled with great expectations. She pursued it with all her heart. In her big heart, she still found the time and patience to bear with Herman as they both try to work this relationship out.
Fate was a an evil thing. Time and space apart were the lesser evils in this play. Having started a relationship like it did, growing apart was inevitable. Each time they reunite, they had to accustom themselves to the strange feeling of each other. Time was always short though. By the time they have gotten used to having each other around, they had to part again.
"My heart frozen heart is never able to thaw. Each time you come back to me, it begins to thaw slowly. It starts to feel warm again. Just when the pain kicks in like freeze-burn, you have to leave again. Thats when it freezes all over again..." Herman confessed to Christine once when he was sending her off to the bus station.
Christine couldn't find an answer to him.
"All I remember is the pain. I want to feel warm again. I want my heart to beat warm for you..." Herman continued.
Christine was under severe stress and remained silent. Herman just looked at her not wanting to continue pushing her.
They arrived at the station. She alighted from his car. He decided to drive off, trying hard not too look backwards. He wondered, if what he feels for her is really love for her or just an after-effect from trying to numb the sensation of everyday life which was a living hell for him.
Something spoke to him in his thawed heart that day. He loves her. He swerved his car and stopped it by the road. He got off and proceeded to run, in an attempt to catch her for the last time before she departed on the bus. He didn't care if his car was towed away or given a ticket. He didn't care if he couldn't catch his breath.
He just carried on running with only her in mind. His heart thawed completely that day. He felt warm. For her.
He arrived too late to catch her before she boarded the bus. The bus was about to leave with the passengers on board. Somehow, he managed to spot her at a seat by the window on the bus. Somehow he managed to catch her attention.
As the bus moved slowly towards the station exit, he was running like a mad man by the bus waving and shouting silent 'I love you's to her. The bus picked up speed. He was soon to be found running after the bus. He never heard a word she said from inside the moving vehicle. It really didn't matter.
Tears streamed his face that day as he ran after the vehicle that carried her away. He couldn't run anymore. He just stood still, amidst the fumes, trails left by the bus. There was nothing except tears and smoke.
She carried a part of his heart away forever that day. She never knew it, and somehow, she never will know.
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