Suicide Note

Dear Life,

Looks like you have finally got the better of me. It has been a sick trip that we have together. I tried so hard to have us work out, but it seems like it is never going to be.

You just happen to have this cruel habit of cracking the biggest and most cruel jokes with me on the butt end of it all.

I think I have finally had enough. You are just sick.

It has been very tiring. Very very tiring. I really just want to close my eyes and let eternal sleep take me. Why is it that you just refuse to let me go?

You know it. I know it. I can never beat you in this game. You have all the aces. You plot all the twists. You lead me where it seems fit. I never had a choice without you interfering at some point.
You gave to me, you take away, whenever it pleases you.

I feel like a rat caught in your cruel experiment. The hurt is too much. It is suffocating. It is torment and suffering. I can't get out. I cannot breathe. I want to get out. I just want to get away.

I have had enough of the games you play. The pawns you use to make me suffer. I suffer because you made me care for them. I suffer because you twined them to me.

It is so painful because I have to hurt them. I have to hurt those unwitting pawns to finally get away. I feel so guilty that I have to. I love them, but I am desperate. I am so sorry. Backed up against the wall, I have no more room for remorse. Just immense pain.

I want to end the pain.

I feel cold. I am scared. You challenged me to part ways with you. Time after time, I backed away. Time after time, I chickened out. Even as I write now, I tremble with fear.

It will be over soon. I know, because I feel the calm before the storm.

If I ever do one thing right, it is now, to make this decision to part ways with you. There is nothing more for me. I need the end to set me free.

I miss everyone. I am so sorry. I have to hurt everyone that I love most.

Goodbye,
Victim.